*Stuff* Tallahasseeans Say

Have you ever seen those hilarious videos on YouTube about "Stuff [Fill in the Blank] Say"?

Here are two of my all-time faves:


Okay, so I was kind of in a creative mood several weeks back, and I made my own list for my hometown of Tallahassee. I must warn you: unless you have lived here for a few years, these might not mean much to you.  But enjoy!  Since I have no time to film them, you'll just have to imagine the context.  

(on the phone) Yes, I know it looks like a giant phallic symbol.

(in traffic) Traffic's horrible! Students must be back.
(in traffic) I see reporters. Must be time for Session.
(in traffic) Will this construction ever be done? I'm just trying to get to the stadium!
I'll bet you that's a Miami driver.

I miss Bobby Bowden.
(sadly) I miss King Love.
Ion Sancho's the MAN! (fist pump)

Are you going to TMH or Capital Regional? (pauses, concerned) I wouldn't go there!
I remember when Governor's Square Mall first opened.
I remember when Tallahassee Mall was the PLACE to be!
I remember when the Northwood Mall was a mall! We had, like, two restaurants then.

(happily) My friend's son got into SAIL!
(warily) My friend's son is going to SAIL.
What school are you zoned for?

I am not gonna pick him up! He lives all the way out in Killearn!
She lives all the way out on Highway 20!
He lives all the way out to the Miccosukee Land Co-op!
I went to Woodville, and I got so lost.

Dude, we can't go to First Friday tonight. We're tailgating!
(movement Tomahawk Chop)

(proudly) I just went to the Film School for an audition. Yep.
I knew Creed before they were famous!
Has Gulf 104 always had the same DJs?

Are you going to Springtime this year? I am totally protesting the Andrew Jackson float again.

Lovely. It's 80 degrees on New Year's Day. That means we'll get carried off by mosquitoes this year.
(sick) My ALLERGIES are killing me!
(thoughtfully) This time, I don't think it's the pollen. I think it's mildew.
I don't know why you went outside then. You know it rains at 3:30 every day.
A tree fell in my yard again.

Are you going to New Leaf?
Are you going to Black Dog?
Are you going to Bullwinkle's?

I mean, I would go to Tom Brown Park, but it's just so BIG.
Is Southwood considered its own town?
Gotta go to Thomasville today. Gas is 10 cents cheaper there.

They sell Bradley's Country Sausage here?
My momma used to run naked through Landis Green.
I remember when Tharpe Street was, like, the edge of town.
THIS is the Democrat now?

I remember Sunnyland. No joke: that place was haunted.
I don't care what they're calling it now. It's the JUNIOR Museum.

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