The Unbearable Casualness of Life

One night this past week, I stayed awake until 5 am, worried about a few things besides money, crime, nuclear war, world peace, and my family troubles, which always worry me.  That's a given. 
First of all, what's with the earthquakes?  New Zealand had the earthquake last month, and now, Japan's citizens are suffering from the effects of an earthquake and a tsunami.  I watched news clips of people in Japan trying, in vain, to escape the rising ocean floodwaters.  I felt so helpless.  Why on earth was I worried about celebrity gossip when there were people who were literally running for their lives?

Humans committing evil against other humans is something that I've gradually and grudgingly accepted.  But nature turning violent?  Why does this happen?  Why are some populations in the world disproportionately affected by natural disasters, while others are fine for generations?  (I've been feeling like a cross between Jerry Seinfeld and Insane Clown Posse lately.  Freaking earthquakes: how do they work?)

I also witnessed a small incident this week that made me feel helpless and very sad.  [Due to the small size of my hometown, I won't give the details of where I was.]  To make a long story short, my 7-month-old found himself with a duckling in front of him.  He suddenly grabbed it by its wing and began shaking it like a rag doll.  Obviously, Ola had no idea that he was hurting the animal, and it was immediately taken away from him.  The duckling lay quietly in the grass, on its side. 

I checked on the duckling.  It did not look good.  I believe that Ola either killed it or hurt it pretty bad, and I was horrified.  Eventually, the duckling was placed into a box.  There was something so profoundly sad to know that a duckling, which had lived its short life as a mail-order prop, would be maimed by a child who didn't even know what it was.  Lolly asked if it were sleeping, and coward that I am, I just played along.  I felt cold shame. 

...Contrast all of this worldly sadness with good times and the ephemera of humor on a good day.  I had a fun day out with two of my dearest girlfriends today; we had breakfast, got our nails done, and went shopping.  Later, relatives came over to visit with the kids, and my husband made a delicious dinner, which was shared with them.  It was an easy, fun day with no problems.  My biggest choice was deciding what color I would have painted on my fingernails.  (I chose blue.)  My biggest concern was that I had to miss celebrating the birthday of a friend.  How fortunate I am.  How fortunate I am. 



We all had a good laugh today at what my grandmother, who is a coupon fanatic, decided to give to us, to be helpful.



With gratitude for what we enjoy...